How to make the most of coaching
Are you on the fence about whether coaching is worth it?
Worried that it feels a little self-indulgent to treat yourself to a paid conversation about YOU? It’s definitely an investment, but a good coaching experience can change your life. I’ve had learners say things like “I can’t believe I was able to do this!”, after tackling a daunting challenge and reaching it. Over hundreds of hours of coaching, I’ve seen what successful learners do to maximize this opportunity.
1. Find your fit
There are a lot of coaches out there, so find one you connect with! Start by figuring out the type of coaching that aligns with your current developmental needs. Then, reach out to a few coaches who specialize in that area and ask for a complimentary “discovery call” to talk about your interests and concerns. Choose someone you feel comfortable speaking freely with, someone who genuinely cares about helping you achieve your goals.
2. Adopt a growth mindset
As uber-coach Mark Rosenthal would say, “you gotta wanna.” Coaching is an investment in yourself, and you are your own greatest source of learning. Are you willing to explore where you are and embrace new experiences, even if you make mistakes along the way? If so, you’re poised to benefit. If you’d rather not face your shortcomings or take personal risks, you’re probably not ready for coaching. Not all times in life are ripe for this type of change – it’s going make your brain hurt a little! Adopt a mindset of curiosity and openness, and embrace the belief that you are capable of positive change, so you can step into the opportunity ready for learning.
3. Make a commitment
Show up! Sounds easy, but think about the constant requests and to-do’s coming your way, many of which will seem more pressing than coaching. For coaching to be effective, it’s essential to make time for it, and stick with it over some period of time. Your deep-seated beliefs and behaviors will not change over night; growth requires consistent practice, lots of small experiments, and regular reflection.
One misconception of coaching is that if you haven’t “done your homework”, you should cancel. However, if you had everything figured out, why would you need a coach? Coaches want to see you as you really are, help you identify your barriers, and guide you towards the next “micro-move” rather than perfection.
4. Set clear intentions
Before you embark on a coaching journey, clarify the purpose. What do you hope to gain from the experience? What skills do you want to develop, and what impact do you want to see? Understanding why this change matters to you is crucial.
Before each coaching session, reflect on what you want to achieve. A bit of introspection beforehand will help you steer the conversation towards valuable insights. However, this doesn't require hours of agonizing preparation—just a few moments to realign your mindset for a productive discussion.
5. Embrace vulnerability
Are you a perfect human? Congratulations, no coaching needed! For the rest of us, we’ve got our flaws, and there’s nothing better than an honest coaching conversation to help understand and work through them. This might mean talking through something you are less skilled at or insecure about. Or perhaps it’s unpacking a feeling of dread you’re having about an upcoming event. In your normal “work life”, you might be rewarded for tamping down these feelings and projecting nothing but confidence. But in coaching, we want to see the full picture, with all of your doubts and insecurities, to explore what’s hard about the change you’re after. It’s only through deep examination of these obstacles that you’re going to break through to a better place.
6. Be specific
The coach’s role is to push your thinking and help you deeply examine your thoughts, behaviors, actions, and their repercussions. In order to do that, you’ll need to move beyond generalities to very specific descriptions of what’s happening. Be prepared for your coach to say “tell me more”, to see what else comes up.
7. Follow through
Talking alone can only take you so far. The way we truly learn is to go try something and see what happens, then make some sense of it. Or as Mike Rother puts it, you learn more by “iterating your way forward”[i] than deliberating your way forward. You’ll get far more out of each session if you’ve attempted to take a step with your experiment (improvement coaching) or new behavior (leadership coaching).
Are you ready to make the leap? Sign up for a free discovery call today, and let’s see if we’re a fit – I know you’ve got what it takes!
[i] Rother, Mike, The Toyota Kata Practice Guide, McGraw-Hill, 2018.